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Molli Anne Mattison - 01/06/86 - 07/16/01

Life with MolliMemories...

Molli was born a few weeks premature, tiny at only 6 lbs, 5oz. to a family who desperately needed and loved her peaceful and joyful spirit. Little blonde pigtails, huge blue eyes that quickly earned her everyone's recognition as "little Cindilou Who" from The Grinch That Stole Xmas, and a smile that won her first place in everyone's heart. Acquiring 3 big sisters, Heidi-10, Melissa-7 and Allie-3, Molli always had someone loving to teach her the ropes. Needless to say, as her "Momma", she was special - not only because she was my baby - my last child, but because there was always a unique serenity about her.

Although quiet by nature, Molli enjoyed the attention she received and became quite a "ham" in front of a camera. Her childhood was "normal" by normal standards and she always had many friends. Her elementary teachers refer to her as "a bright flower", "always smiling", "extremely bright", and other positive remembrances. She loved reading, writing, music, and drawing, and although reading diminished some, the other three became passions, adding songwriting and poetry to the list.

6th grade was a very difficult year for Molli and her friends, trying to cope with the aspect of insensitivity and meanness of others. We recently learned that Molli's first discussions with her friends of taking her own life occurred during this time. While she often shared her concerns with me and we'd talk them over, I didn't have a clue that suicide was even a consideration, especially at 12 years old! However, somehow she/we got through the typical rough year and she entered Saghalie Junior High with excitement and enthusiasm.

Her 3 years in Junior High seemed typical to her family, as much as a teenager's life can be typical, that is. She loved her friends, actually I could almost say that she lived for her friends. She loved her family and spending time with them. She was nearly perfect from a mom's perspective - always respectful, and always loving - always, always, considerate of other's feelings, with the exception at times of the usual sibling bantering. I had a special way of dealing with that however, as you'll see from the photo gallery. When it reached the point that I would have to intervene between Molli and her sister Allie, the rule was they had to stand nose-to-nose until they broke out in laughter, which occurred without fault. They then would realize that the love they had for each other far outweighed whatever they were arguing about and would hug and kiss and end with an apology and eminently an "I love you".

Molli's personality was consistently sweet and filled with love. Her moods varied from quiet, sleepy, silly, and happy to outrageously fun and hyper according to her closest friends. She would very often come home from school exhausted and sleep sometimes for several hours - just as her prayer stated. It's certainly a possible sign of depression, although Molli showed no other signs nor showed any reasons to be depressed. She was loved by so many so much and she definitely loved everyone - so the mystery and the pain of that mystery will stay with us.

One of the biggest highlights of this last year for Molli was her 9th Grade dance. She stressed so much, typically, about what to wear and who to go with. She decided to go with Lincoln, someone she had been good friends with and cared very much about. She worried often that it would affect their friendship, but when the day of the dance arrived - she felt like a princess and looked like one, too. I can still see her - hair done beautifully - smiling face - beautiful flowing blue dress and gloves. When she came home, her face was all aglow from how special she had felt and how much she had enjoyed the evening. My little girl felt like a princess that night. It would be her first and last dance to have that feeling, and I am so thankful that she had that experience.

As I said previously, Molli lived for her friends. I've known many people and kids in my lifetime, but I've yet to see devotion such as Molli displayed, especially for her best friends, Pam and Kelly. When they hurt, she hurt as badly or worse. When they cried, her heart broke. If they were upset with her for any reason, she was devastated, something that even she knew was unhealthy and something I tried helping her with. God wants us to love our friends just like Molli did, but He wants us to know that our worth isn't measured by how others see us or treat us but how He sees us as His precious child.

If a friend was angry with her, Molli beat herself up with guilt, even if she wasn't sure what she did wrong. It really troubled her and she said to me, "Mom, I think maybe I need to get some counseling so that I don't feel so badly when my friends or people aren't nice to me." What Molli wanted was good self esteem so that she could always know she was a good person. Making mistakes doesn't make us bad - it makes us human. When friends are angry or upset, first talk to God about it and ask Him to help friends understand, do the same with the friends - then let it go and let God handle it. If they're good friends, they'll forgive. If they don't, they aren't the friends the Lord wants you to have.

Molli was extremely loyal and loved meeting new people and getting closer to them. There were so many close friends - Rachel, Kaitlyn, Meg, Austin, Mark, Jack and more than I even knew about. They did everything together - as friends do. Molli's life this year in 9th Grade was filled with the excitement of starting High School as a Decatur Gator in the Fall and taking Driver's Education in the summer, which she was in the middle of when she made the choice to end her life.

Since her death, we've learned that Molli's friendship stretched farther than just those she knew. There have been stories shared with us by those who didn't know Molli until she touched their lives by appearing and talking to them at a time when they needed a friend the most. That's the truest form of friendship - the one the Lord wants us to have. It's the one that will make you feel good inside.Read More

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